1 toilet.
2 minutes.
How much carnage can they cause?
Answer: too much.
The eldest was sat on the loo.
The youngest sat by him.
I went downstairs to get something.
I heard laughter.
I ran back upstairs.
1 entire loo roll unfurled and filling most of the bathroom (it is a very small bathroom).
'I. AM. NOT. HAPPY'.
'I didn't do it!'.
'NO BUT YOU WATCHED AND YOU LAUGHED AND THAT MAKES YOU PARTY TO THE CRIME'.
'But mummy, there wasn't a party! Just a loo roll going crazy'.
Que: the sound of ripping and tearing.
I spin round to see son no. 2 ripping up the bathroom floor tiles.
He is holding one up, like he's just found the Holy Grail, and grinning. A lot.
'Arrrrghhhhh'.
I try to shift him with my foot but he's got stuck to the floor glue (how come he's strong enough to rip a tile off but then glue his own body to the very same surface?).
I use my foot to try and lever him off (my hands are full of loo roll) which leads my eldest son to start wailing 'MUMMEEEE DON'T KICK THE BABY! STOP IT!'.
Great.
He's probably going to go to school and tell the teachers that the baby got glued to the floor and mummy kicked him.
Actually - gluing him to the floor might not be that poor an idea. Once he was freed he made a beeline for the burgular alarm wires and ripped several of them off the wall.
What does he think he is? Some kind of rock star?
If he chucks a TV out the window then that really will be it. I'll be sending him to rehab....
I actually CRIED tears of laughter at that. That's so wrong tho' isn't it? :-S But you are absolutely HYSTERICAL!!! ((hugs))
ReplyDeleteLaugh away my dear! If I didn't laugh I'd cry! My OH has them ALL day tomorrow so we shall what delights await him! xxx
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