Friday, 10 July 2009

My Ball is Back in Town!

Well actually it's currently in the passenger seat of my car but the main thing is it is no longer nestling amidst several million volts of electricity and trespassing on EDF Energy property.

I spent quite some thinking time toying with how exactly to call EDF and enable it's rescue.

There was a 'call in an emergency' number on the sub-station but I felt I'd put myself at risk of being arrested for making crank calls if I rang that and presented myself as an adult woman who'd had her ball stolen and wanted it back.

So that left a 'general' EDF customer help-line which I feared would actually put me through to someone in Mumbai reading off a script - a script highly unlikely to contain the words necessary to rescue a birth ball from a sub-station..... I can't think they have too many calls of that nature.

Me: It's my ball, it's gone over the fence, in the electricity sub-station.

Them: Your bill? Your bill has gone up? Electricity?

Me: No BALL. BALL. Big ball. In danger. In sub-station.

Them: Your bill is too big? You have difficulty paying? It is a danger to you?

Me: NO BALL.....

Them: Your ball has risen? It is too big? Electric ball? Ah bill!

Me: Arrggghhh - don't worry about

You catch my drift.

While I was pondering all of this I went back down there as I realised I would need the 'number' of the sub-station (they each have their own unique ID - fascinating fact of the day there). So off I went, armed with paper and pen, and whilst I was rustling around in the bushes and peering through gaps a man approached me and asked me if I was OK. I think this was actually a polite way of asking me 'what the f*** are you up to you strange woman lurking in the bushes - we've got you on CCTV taking photos and now this!' as I was actually now on the property of the water sports centre and clearly acting quite strangely.

I explained the situation (as briefly as I could) and although he did give me a very strange look and clearly hadn't a clue quite what my ball was really for and what it was doing in the middle of a sub-station, he did summon a rescue party and, finding a 'less well protected' spot in the fence, they scaled it and I got my ball back..

So thank you to everybody who had been involved in the Great Ball Liberation - it's nice to see people come together and break the law - even if it's (once again) due my misfortune.

And that - I hope -is the end of that.


  1. Excuse me sir, my ball's gone over your fence. Please could I have it back?

    Love it! Sounds like my childhood...

  2. I'm very glad that you managed to retrieve your ball without "too much" hassle... and also got to aid in the breakage of some laws at the same time, to me, sounds like a wonderful day. However, I would very much liked to have known how the telephone call would have went, possibly with an ending like "Well I don't care what you say, I want my ball back even if I have to get it myself"... alas, maybe another time... lol

    SB. xx