However please note the use of the word 'located' - not 'returned' or in fact 'retrieved'.
I have, just a few moments ago, received the following email from the venue:
We have located your ball. Somehow it has ended up in the electricity compound which is just to the right as you enter our main gate. The area is locked up and surrouned by a high fence with barbed wire and belongs to EDF Energy.
What? WHAT!? So my ball has 'somehow' ended up in the electricity substation.
Oohh well let me ponder for a while on how that could have POSSIBLY happened. Could it, per chance, have been a sudden (very sudden) tornado that swept through the car park in the 5 minutes I was absent and picked my ball up before plonking it down admist several million volts of electricity?
Could it, just maybe, have been picked up by an immense bird of prey that somehow mistook it for a mutated (and rather blue) Field Vole?
Oh well - maybe the ball has been practising the art of teleportation and, like Dr Who's Tardis, has found itself somewhere it shouldn't be.
Bollocks it has.
No - funnily enough I have a really sneaky suspicision that some little sod has chucked it in there.
'Somehow' my arse.
I also like the way she casually drops in the bit about the locks and the barbed wire and then drops in a 'good luck' at the end.
This 'good luck' is actually her way of saying 'because you're going to need it love and don't think for one moment that any of us are going to help you with THIS one'.
So there we are - I now need to find a contact number for EDF Energy and ask them if I can have my ball back......
(p.s. I have suddenly recalled a rather shameful incident from my youth involving the Village Christmas Tree and the local Golf Club. I shall tell you more tomorrow but I think this may be what they call 'Karma' a.k.a what goes around, comes around...BE WARNED CHILDREN BE WARNED. MESS WITH PEOPLE'S STUFF AND ONE DAY SOMEONE WILL COME IN THE NIGHT AND ELECTRICUTE YOUR BALLS).