Wednesday, 14 January 2009

Stuffing Babies

Following on from the nipples debacle (see previous post) we completed our shopping in Tescos.

One of the items I needed was something very cheap and heavy that I could use to stuff babies. Not real babies - but as I've explained previously - dolls that I have to make as realistic as possible so that expectant parents can practice changing nappies and stuff on them (they don't get to practice dealing with having your nipples discussed in Tescos but hey ho - I can't prepare them for everything).

Anyway, whilst perusing the 'ethnic food' area I came across a large sack of 'Mung Beans'. Very very cheap. Ideal!

So off we go to the till.

The lady on the check out - who looked a bit like Cilla Black (so we'll call her Cilla) - perused the sack with interest.

Cilla: 'Mung Beans? I ain't never had them before (erm, no, for some reason that doesn't suprise me) . What they like?'.

Me: 'erm, I don't actually know, I've never eaten them'.

Cilla: 'Never seen 'em through the till before. How do you cook 'em?'.

Me: 'erm, I don't know, I'm not going to eat them (on why oh why I didn't stop there I will never now). I'm going to put them inside things. To make them heavier. To weight them'.

Cilla: 'Inside what?'

Me: 'Babies'.

Cilla: says nothing but physically pulls back and looks at me as if my very presence has tainted her forever.

Me: 'oh not real babies! Dolls! Dolls that I pretend are babies!'.

Cilla: still beyond speech. Glances nervously at my children. Perhaps to check that they are in fact real, and not replicas stuffed with Mung Beans.

Me: Ohh it's for my work!

: smiles nervously. Makes no further conversation.

I'm half expecting the police to turn up. Or the psychiatric services (again).


  1. For the record, next time you could say I am making Moong Daal, an indian spicy delicacy which is a bit like Bombay mix.

    I am now addicted having been given some by my indian friend.

  2. Vicky - I do not even WANT to think of the reaction if I mentioned 'Moong Daal' (remember, I live in the Land of Dave) but it sounds lush! Recipes please! Seriously - I luuuurve that kind of food. And I say this as you taught me the original Chick Pea Curry - which still continues to this day! The Chick Pea - a tasty, healthy, CHEAP source of protein. I need to start a Fan Club.....

  3. I'll have to send you some. You buy it dry in a bag. I must bring back the chickpea curry in my house - do you think that I can disguise it as chicken tikka masala?