1. On the fence of a house down the road from me, someone has pinned a note. Attached to this note is a plastic bag containing a birthday card. On the note it says:
'FOR THE ATTENTION OF MARGARET: Joan no longer lives at this address. She has passed away. Please take your card'.
I'm not really sure where to begin with that one other than: why!? WHY would you do that?
Was the card bothering them THAT much that they felt the need to pin it to a fence? Is there a hidden story? A need to name and shame Margaret - who is obviously not "that" good a friend if she doesn't realise that her so-called-mate Joan, is in fact, dead? Will Margaret ever see it? If so will she leave a tit for tat note? Could this be the start of a new sort of graffiti between Pensioners? Watch this space....
2. Whilst wandering round Tesco last night for a bit of R&R (it really comes to something when you consider a 'jolly nice break' consisting of going to Tesco without the kids and actually ENJOY spending 2 hours comparing the price of apples, squeezing melons and sniffing various hand creams, And to think, I used to be a player...) I came across a new 'playset' aimed at very young children. It was called something like 'animal adventure' and encouraged 'role play and acting out 'scenes from the natural world'.
The playset consisted of a large Daddy Emperor penguin, a fluffy little tiny baby penguin and.......... a killer whale.
Erm, Ok then.
I've seen the nature shows, I know what happens next.
The Killer Whale launches himself onto the ice shelf and snatches the baby penguin from beneath the daddy one and drags him down down down into the icy depths. Then they play sad music, a red patch appears in the sea and David Attenborough solemnly declares 'the whale has fed and will live another day. The chick's father turns and starts his 2,000 mile walk back to the mating ground, ALONE'. At this point I sink to my knees and howl and wonder what the point of life is before swearing I will stick to watching Gok's Fashion Fix in the future. As far as I'm aware, nothing fluffy gets ripped apart by a Killer Whale in that.
Anyway - I'm sure many of you are looking forward to buying the playset and acting out that very scene at bath time with your 3 year old. You could even add a dash of red food dye for good effect.
Who thought up this concept? It's like something from The Apprentice.
There are more, many more, but I shall have to come back to this as duty calls and I need to spend the next hour standing on a step ladder trying to knock moss off my conservatory roof with a telescopic mop.....