Already we have a new question:
Son 1: 'Mummy?'.
Son 1: 'What is a bored gay?'.
Me: 'A WHAT?'.
Son 1: 'A BORED GAY'.
Me: 'Where did you hear that?'.
Son 1: 'On CBBC'.
Me: 'Really?' (I very much doubt that the BBC's children programming includes an item on homosexuals looking for something to do on a dull Sunday afternoon - but who knows? Stranger things have been aired - Carrie and David's Popshop for a start).
Son 1: 'Yes, look these children have to invent a Bored Gay and be the winner. Those children have a bored gay with Pyramids on! And you have to put a key in the bored gay and open it up and get the treasure out'.
Me: 'WHAT?' (go and inspect said programme).
Me: 'Ohhhhh - I think you mean a BOARD GAME'.
Other than bored gays we also have a new game of our own. Sadly not a board game.
No this game is called 'Baby Bowling' and it involves the toddler standing on my bed (which I had stripped so all the pillows and duvets were piled up on the floor) and the older child crashing into him at high speed so he flies through the air and (hopefully) falls into the pile of bedding. This is, apparently, hysterical and both of them are roaring with laughter and can't get enough of it. All I can see is in my mind is broken limbs and the damage being done to my feather filled eiderdown.....
I dragged them downstairs and made them sit through 'Real Rescues' on BBC1 and witness several injured toddlers as a form of aversion therapy but to no avail. Two minutes later they were doing it again on the sofa.
This could be a long week.