Monday, 17 August 2009

Hidden Messages

My father just called me which was a rare and shocking event in itself. He is one of those men of the generation that, as soon as they hear one of their children on the end of a telephone, say 'here's your mother' and pass you over before you can so much as enquire about the state of his big toe (my father has ongoing difficulties with his big toe - the last time I saw it it was a blackish shade of purple and being lanced twice a day. I've not dared look since).

Anyway the conversation went something like this:

Father: Thank you for my birthday card (his birthday was actually yesterday - apparently there are postal strikes, convenient really when you forget to post a card.....).

Daughter: No worries! Glad you liked it.

Father: Well at least I THINK it's from you.

Daughter: Sorry?

Father: Well I've received a card with a puffin on the front, a rather fat puffin, and I presume it's from you.

Daughter: Err?

Father: It's entirely blank.

Daughter: BLANK!?

Father: Yes it's addressed to me but when I open the card there's nothing inside it. Nothing at all.

Daughter: Oh. My. God

Father: I thought your mother was the one with the brain addled by drink. I mean I presume you did actually intend to, at the very least, sign it?

Daughter: Oh. My. God. There were so many birthday's last week (not to mention my own and one of my sons) but I DEFINITELY remember writing you a message.

Father: Well the card is blank.

Daughter: Well the message is somewhere because I remember writing it.

Oh. My. God. One of my friend's children must have a card with the unforgettable words 'To my father, stay off the scrumpy!' inscribed inside it.

Father: (turning to my mother) She's sent one of her friend's children a card with a message to me written inside it. About scrumpy.

Mother: Tell her not to worry. It's a jolly nice card and I've got an envelope that will fit so, as she's left it blank, I'll get to reuse it! I like puffins.....

Daughter: I'll expect to see it again next August then......

The next question I have is - what else have I done (or not done)?


  1. Ha, ha,'s only so funny because it's so true. I have opened birthday cards to check I have written it to the right person before. I've also got one in my cupboard just waiting for one of my friends children to turn two. Last year I bought her a 'You're 2' card on her first birthday, I worte it and sealed it and was on my way to post it when I realised she was only one, so I saved it for this year...

  2. That's a classic Ali!!! Actually thinking about it I've got a card addressed to a 3 year old Alex in my glove compartment which I forgot to take to a birthday party. It must have been there 2 years as the same Alex was 5 a few weeks ago...... I am hanging on to it until I find another little boy with the same name who is turning 3. Reuse - recyclie - SAVE THE WORLD! ;)

  3. LOL I sent my bessie mate a card with nothing inside BUT thank goodness she realised it was from her mad bessie mate. I don't think she has sent it back to me but there's still time !!!!

  4. Prob' best not to ask eh? ;-)


  5. BTW that Sparkles bird is trouble, watch her ;-), she's my MIL I should know!

  6. Oh wow Nicki! We seem to have a lot of MILs on here - which is good - keep them coming ;). But it always surprises me when I meet people in real life and they say 'ohhh my MIL and all her friends love your blog' - I have become slightly alarmed that they all know about my piles and squashed balls....Waaaaaaaa!!!

  7. A least you have it the right way around. A blank card can be reused, and at least you sent it. At the moment have 3 cards addressed to 3 people whos birthdays have passed and I never posted the cards. In theory I could use them for next year, but by then they will probably have been drawn on numerous times, have food and drink stains, as well as other unknown items stuck to the envelope