Friday, 5 June 2009

A Break in the Country

Well I have been summonsed to my parents' house for the weekend (having been told repeatedly by my father that I was NOT needed and having made various other arrangements - not that I'm annoyed or anything) so we are heading off later for a break in the depths of the deepest darkest countryside.

For those of you who've been around for a while this would be the home with the gay cockerels, rats on my fathers nut's (bird nuts that is) and where my brother almost got strangled for (quote) 'putting a log on the fire like some kind of a dick'. For those of you not familiar with my childhood home - let's just say it's difficult to put it into words. Hang around a while and I'm sure you'll get the vibe.

Anyway I see it's raining hard thus ensuring that I'm trapped in the midst of the insanity with no way out.

I've already had my father on the phone lecturing me on leaving times, the M25, the concept of 'rush hour', a fritatta (a frit what?), a large ham, departure times, Sunday lunch, the weather and how my mother now has a 'new screensaver'.

Sh1t. Does that mean my mother is cruising the internet? This could get tricky, although I'm sure I'm safe unless she decides to Google 'how to make an Iggle Piggle Cake' or 'squat and pee' which is the path that dozens of unfortunates follow in order to get here.

At least my eldest son is excited.

He spent the entire morning playing 'being at Grandma's house' which (apparently) involves shutting the baby in a darkened room with 'no lights on at all' and repeatedly telling him (when he tried to break out) 'NO NO NO. A useful baby always stays in their shed until they are needed'.


I can assure you we don't keep the baby in a dark shed when we are down there (although the thought has crossed my mind) so perhaps he's implying that my parents' house is like a shed?

Anyway, I have no idea what this game has done for my youngest child's mental development or sense of self but it was a marvelously calm and mess free game compared to their normal high jinks (see yesterdays post for further information on this rather trying topic) so I shall be actively encouraging it from now on.

See you on Monday (if I survive the frittata).

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