Friday, 12 June 2009

Beast of the Utter Order

How do you get a 4 year old boy to get dressed? Without resorting to fish-wife-stylee hollering which sends the neighbours running for cover and muttering darkly about 'them people next door'. Girls just seem to 'do it'. Boys seem to turn avoiding it into a kind of sport.

Seriously - HOW!?

Today I am not up for the battle - his uniform is laid out on his bed (or it was - it's probably orbiting round the moon by now) and I've said 'just put the clothes on. JUST GET DRESSED. OK? You're not coming down until you are'.

That was at 8 am.

It is now past 10 o'clock.

Luckily he doesn't go to nursery until the afternoons but what will happen when he starts reception I don't know. I think I'll need a whip.

He called me up a while ago and I thought 'yeeee ha - he's dressed!' but no. He merely wanted to inform me that he'd found a special coin featuring R2D2.

Here is R2D2:

And here is the coin:

Erm, yup, separated at birth I should say.

I gave him the 'here are your clothes GET DRESSED OR ELSE' lecture and retreated back downstairs.

5 minutes later there was an earsplitting scream emitting from the toddler.

I raced up there to find the young infant tightly wrapped in a double duvet and being 'posted' underneath the bed.

'WHAT are you doing to him??' I screeched (so much for 'no shouting today').

'Packaging him up so we can post him to another family mummy because I tell you what, he is an utter beast at times'.

Utter beast?

Utter beast?

I'll give you utter beast.

I am going back up there now and I'm not coming down until he's dressed.

To mis-quote Scott of the Antarctic 'I am going upstairs, and I may be some time.....'


  1. no, I'm sorry, I'm with him on this one. That IS R2D2! It IS! And he's brilliant to spot it!

    Or is it ET...?

  2. PMSL - do you think I should go all pushy mother over his discovery and inform the school that my child is CLEARLY highly gifted, I've known this fact ever since he spotted R2D2 in our common currency. They would be like 'do you think it's time you had another little chat with the GP love?'.

  3. utterly have missed your vocation.....totally im gonna ache tomoz......and yep he is a child genious........fancy him spotting that....oh what a clever boy he really is.....lovely read...sassyx