Off Grid

Apologies for the lack of blogging action - we have moved into our new house - YAY - but have no internet access and won't have until at least Friday - booooo. I am at my mum's and have circa 3 minutes to update you on my life and all it's insanity so I'll keep it brief.

10 things I've learned since we got our keys:

1. One of our neighbours is called Dave. So I leave the land of Dave to move next to....Dave. I feel at home already. However he did bring us round a bottle of champagne - result! Although it does make me feel all the more guilty for my howling, running, jumping, yelping children. He doesn't have kids.......

2. Curry's (as in the electronics store - not the spiced dish from the sub-continent) have not improved since my last experience of them around 10 years ago. Order a gas cooker and the deliver.......AN ELECTRIC ONE! Not what you need after several days with no means of cooking and your life in boxes.

3. If you leave your husband in charge of receiving deliveries he will look at the above mentioned electric cooker and sign it off as 'as ordered'. He clearly doesn't realise that halogen hobs and gas rings are not one and the same. Correction - he didn't - he does now.

4. 2 year olds don't really cotton on to this moving lark terribly quickly. He keeps getting up at 5am taking my hand and saying 'home? Go home?'. You are home sonny. And you'd better get your head round it sharpish.

5. Getting up at 5am with 2 year olds is even less fun if you only have 4 TV channels. Teletext ain't that entertaining.

6. 5 year olds - if moved from a double to a single bed - fall out of their single bed approximately 19 times a night. I'm not sure when they learn?

7. If you fall out of bed 19 times a night onto a sea of lego bricks you get strange marks on your arse - kind of like warts. I don't recommend it.

8. If you are packing to move house don't pack (in the very bottom of a box surrounded by plastic bags) a bag of shallots (why dear god? WHY!? All I'm saying is it wasn't me). My very own home composting......

9. If you have junk in your old garden that was destined for the tip make sure you tell someone or else it will be transported 200 miles across the country and dumped in your new garden.....

10. The family at the end of our row live out their entire life with the curtains wide open and lights fully on. A life that includes at least 4 small boys (many of whom are naked or partially naked), a jiggered looking woman in a dressing gown (been there, done that, got the sick stained dressing gown) and a huge amount of chaos. It makes me feel better about my lot anyway. I went past yesterday and she was on her knees amidst what appeared to be 30 loads of washing. I felt slightly less put upon.

Right - must fly - 'see' you all soon when I (hopefully!) get my very own internet back!

Tweet