Covert Blogging from the Home of the Olds

So I've made it West.

And I have to say it's wonderful.

Even if, for the moment, I don't actually have access to our new house, my OH is on the otherside of the country and I'm living with my parents.

Now before I go on I have to say my parents have been absolutely wonderful and beyond helpful and generous. I feel like I'm having (finally!) some respite from the last few months. Lovely food, loads of space, laundry done (LAUNDRY DONE!) - it is marvellous. Well the toddler taking off his nappy, filling the travel cot with icy piss (my parents don't believe in central heating and it appears wee cools pretty quickly under such conditions - take note) at 1am and then spending the next 3 hours wide awake and crying, wasn't a high point - but other than that I'm loving it.

However, living with my parents does make blogging pretty damn hard. They like to know what's going on and for reasons I am sure you understand I don't really want them becoming avid fans of this blog. My father doesn't need to know about my piles......Or the fact that half the internet have read about the needle through his testicle incident......

He spends a lot of time on the internet (avidly checking the weather forecast 90% of the time - 'MOTHER!' he bellow, 'FROST BY MONDAY NIGHT!'. 'Oh' she responds. Ten minutes later - 'MOTHER!', 'WINDS OF 50MPH IN NORTHERN IRELAND'. Crucial. Obviously) and he uses it in a way which means that anything you have EVER typed into Google or the address box will come up when you start typing that first letter of the word. So even accessing this blog was hard - I had to find another way in. I couldn't type the address and I couldn't Google 'Slightly South of Sanity'. He would get curious. Even it wasn't about the weather.

So I had to find a back door in, so to speak.

And then I recalled that large numbers of (unfortunate) people find this blog by Googling 'Iggle Piggle Birthday Cake' and, in fact, this blog comes up on page 1 of Google if you type those magical words. Who would have thought it? Famous in baking spheres...... It must have been the RegalIce Placenta that did it.

Having found a way in, I still couldn't type anything as my father's security settings were a tad extreme (well you never know WHAT might come up if you Google 'BBC 7 day forecast, do you?') so I've had to, erm, change them. Don't tell him. Ever.

But other than that it's going swimmingly. As long as you tread carefully and don't antagonise him.

This can take a lot of strategic planning.

For example this morning he was coming downstairs when my mother noticed a large brown rat dangling off the bird table.

Large brown rats tend to antagonise him greatly (this is, after all, the man who ran through the house on the morning of my brother's wedding shouting 'FETCH A GUN! There's a rat on the f'cking nuts!' Put a whole new spin on 'shot-gun wedding' that one did).

And for some reason their raiding of the bird food is my mother's fault.

I had to therefore provide a strategic distraction until the rat had passed.

And then there was the incident of the dry cleaning receipt and the Mussel shells - but that will have to wait until tomorrow - he's coming down the stairs so I must flee and leave no evidence. Let's just hope he's not planning on baking an Iggle Piggle birthday cake......

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