WOOOOOO HOOOOOOOO!!!
Look who's back!
As of about 10 minutes ago my new house has working Internet access and I am back amongst you - blogging from my new abode in Somerset and I am VERY happy about this.
And how is it!?
Well put it this way - despite the chaos, the boxes, the fact we can't open the back door (actually we can open it, we just can't shut it again), the mouldy walls (nice!) and the toddler's 5am rise and shine call - we feel more at home and more rested than we have done in years.
I knew I was truly home when I opened the local free paper.
The Classifieds are just fabulous - in fact they now rival Take a Breaks' Brainwaves Roadshow as my top source of entertainment.
The first thing my eyes fell upon was a glorious cock (well - they would wouldn't they. Come on now - don't tell me you could see the words glorious cock in bold type and not read on?).
And, not just any glorious cock but a glorious RED cock.
Ow.
Here's the ad in all its uncensored glory:
GLORIOUS RED COCK:
Beautiful boy. Bit gawky at present but will thicken out. Glossy. Deep red in colour. Much more striking than a cross bred Rhodie. Should grow into a handsome breeder.
£10.
Wow - bargain or what! Although personally the words 'glossy' and 'deep red' would be ringing a few alarm bells.......at least he's due to thicken though (snort snort).
Sorry - every time I feel a bit overwhelmed by all the change and slightly lost I just have to read about that glorious cock and I know I'm truly home.
Other ads that had me pondering the sanity of humankind and knowing I was home included:
Coffee Table - can also be used without top - £20.
Erm, what? So you've got a coffee table - to like put hot drinks on and you can TAKE THE TOP OFF? What are you left with? 4 ornamental wooden sticks rising up out of your shagpile? Where do your drinks go? In the void that's left? More to the point - WHAT IS THE POINT!?! Interesting. I'm tempted to phone up and ask a few probing questions but I fear it could be a long and perplexing conversation that I'm not yet up to.
And then there's this gem:
Warming Device - does the exact same job as a hostess trolley but no wheels - £15.
Right so you have a hostess trolley, the point of which is that you can WHEEL THE FOOD TO THE TABLE and then you have (allegedly) the 'same thing' only with no wheels. So presumably you can put food in it to keep it warm (that will be like an oven then?) and then you can wheel it ...........nowhere. So you have to take it and carry it.......... I hate to point out the flaw in their use of the word 'exact' but can you see my issue with this? Hmmmm. I guess you could tie a rope to it and haul you dinner to the table but that would only work if you had well polished wood floors . Try it on a deep carpet and you'd be doomed. Chicken Chasseur all over the shag pile.
Anyway - I shall keep my eye out for other such gems and keep you updated.
And did I mention it's good to be back!
Look who's back!
As of about 10 minutes ago my new house has working Internet access and I am back amongst you - blogging from my new abode in Somerset and I am VERY happy about this.
And how is it!?
Well put it this way - despite the chaos, the boxes, the fact we can't open the back door (actually we can open it, we just can't shut it again), the mouldy walls (nice!) and the toddler's 5am rise and shine call - we feel more at home and more rested than we have done in years.
I knew I was truly home when I opened the local free paper.
The Classifieds are just fabulous - in fact they now rival Take a Breaks' Brainwaves Roadshow as my top source of entertainment.
The first thing my eyes fell upon was a glorious cock (well - they would wouldn't they. Come on now - don't tell me you could see the words glorious cock in bold type and not read on?).
And, not just any glorious cock but a glorious RED cock.
Ow.
Here's the ad in all its uncensored glory:
GLORIOUS RED COCK:
Beautiful boy. Bit gawky at present but will thicken out. Glossy. Deep red in colour. Much more striking than a cross bred Rhodie. Should grow into a handsome breeder.
£10.
Wow - bargain or what! Although personally the words 'glossy' and 'deep red' would be ringing a few alarm bells.......at least he's due to thicken though (snort snort).
Sorry - every time I feel a bit overwhelmed by all the change and slightly lost I just have to read about that glorious cock and I know I'm truly home.
Other ads that had me pondering the sanity of humankind and knowing I was home included:
Coffee Table - can also be used without top - £20.
Erm, what? So you've got a coffee table - to like put hot drinks on and you can TAKE THE TOP OFF? What are you left with? 4 ornamental wooden sticks rising up out of your shagpile? Where do your drinks go? In the void that's left? More to the point - WHAT IS THE POINT!?! Interesting. I'm tempted to phone up and ask a few probing questions but I fear it could be a long and perplexing conversation that I'm not yet up to.
And then there's this gem:
Warming Device - does the exact same job as a hostess trolley but no wheels - £15.
Right so you have a hostess trolley, the point of which is that you can WHEEL THE FOOD TO THE TABLE and then you have (allegedly) the 'same thing' only with no wheels. So presumably you can put food in it to keep it warm (that will be like an oven then?) and then you can wheel it ...........nowhere. So you have to take it and carry it.......... I hate to point out the flaw in their use of the word 'exact' but can you see my issue with this? Hmmmm. I guess you could tie a rope to it and haul you dinner to the table but that would only work if you had well polished wood floors . Try it on a deep carpet and you'd be doomed. Chicken Chasseur all over the shag pile.
Anyway - I shall keep my eye out for other such gems and keep you updated.
And did I mention it's good to be back!
ROFL - YET AGAIN!!! These ads are priceless - sorry not interested in the hostess trolley - still can't get over the cock!lol
ReplyDeleteDo keep us posted!
So glad you feel as though you're home.
How are the boys?
Sue xx
I think you really belong there.
ReplyDeleteYour take on life really shows the rest of us miserable sods what we are missing!!!
ReplyDeleteLove it that you are now 'at home'.
Keep happy
It's good to have you back - your posts really make me laugh!
ReplyDeleteLynn
thank God you're back - now I feel at home too.
ReplyDeleteUm, this coffee table. Maybe it means you can use it topless...