Tuesday, 9 March 2010

Lousy

Well bit by bit the building work is getting there and we now have a 'shower room' (i.e. a very small upstairs bathroom). This is VERY exciting.

Firstly there is a lock on the door so I can shut the toddler out and go about my business without him hanging on my leg sobbing. He may be on the other side of the door sobbing (and hammering) but at least I can't actually see him.

Secondly, it contains a heated-towel-rail, an item I have been hankering after ever since I achieved my previous 'great aim' of acquiring a giant pom pom (remind me to blog about the pom pom sometime). The heated-towel-rail is a sign that I have truly made it I feel.

Thirdly, it means that since moving house I've gone from having one toilet that doesn't really flush to having TWO toilets. That FLUSH. What with that and a heated-towel-rail I am clearly now moving on up.

Anyway, all this called for celebrating in the form of purchasing a new toilet brush and some towels that weren't actually the colour of 'ingrained dirt and possibly some mildew'. To guard against future discolourings, I went for brown.

So tonight (after a day which lets just say could have been better) I treated myself to a shower in my new shower room. I then plucked my new towels from my new heated-towel-rail (I'm just showing off now aren't I?) and gave myself a vigorous rub down.

I bent down to dry between my toes and...............



HOLY HELL.

There were little brown things scattered around my 'feminine area' (I have to be careful what I say here, having once offended a man to the point of him writing in when I mentioned wee - but I'm hoping you know what I'm talking about? You know, the area previously denuded in the Curious Incident of the Chemical Burns which has now returned to full bloom).

Gulp.

Now my son did recently have a letter home about an outbreak of nits at his school but I had NO idea nits were that brown or that big and surely there wouldn't be that many so quickly and, besides anything else, what on earth where they were doing 'down there'? I thought nits down there were called.......

Oh my god. No. Surely not? How on earth?

My mind raced. Maybe it wasn't lice? Maybe it was some other kind of infestation? I mean stranger things have happened (to me). Maybe the toddler had poured coffee granules into the laundry basket or a family of immature woodlice had relocated to the knicker draw?

I steeled myself for a closer look.

I plucked one for a closer examination.

I lay it under one of the (new) spotlights........








It was a piece of a fluff from the new brown towel.

Ah well - at least I hadn't raced off down the doctors and asked for a full examination of my crabs......

8 comments:

  1. ROFL - it could only happen to you! Well, actually it couldn't - I have suffered similar moments of panic only to discover towel fluff. I've now learnt to wash new towels before use - saves on a load of embarrassment!
    Sue xx

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  2. um... don't forget to blog about the pom-pom...

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  3. ooh! Very excited about today's 'verification word' for comments - mine was WAMPED!

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  4. Oh yes, infamous 'new towel fluff'. Gets me every time.
    On a totally unrelated note, have you/anyone else ever clicked on 'next blog' at the very top of the page? Very interesting what it randomly throws for your perusal...one site is all about the Mexico/USA border wall, I still haven't worked out quite why, and today's treat was titled 'Conductive Education Information'. Have to confess I didn't read anymore than that. Or am I the only nosey one who goes clicking to see what they find?!

    (oh and my verification word was 'baimmirs'!

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  5. Oh yes Ruth - I do that 'next blog' thing sometimes and it basically confirms that this blog should be retitled 'One of the Very Few Sane Blogs Actually on the Internet'. The blogs I find always seem to be something VERY odd set in Korea, people with really gorgeous looking pages writing pointless stuff like 'I've just had a really big tea and now I'm snuggled up under a blanket but it's raining outside. Tomorrow's Thursday' or very virtuous looking families using words like 'purity' a lot and being photographed under sprawling oak trees in Alabama. Mind you I just tried and got the blog page of some poor woman who had actually died. Now I feel totally freaked out and rather sad! Be warned....

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  6. TWO flushing toilets? What choice! You won't know what to do with yourself.
    God, I had no idea you could do that 'next blog' thing - it's fascinating. I could be here a while. Sorry, kids, looks like you'll have to feed yourselves tonight.

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  7. LMAO - it's time's like this that I thank my Mum so much for always washing towels, I have a tendency to over react slightly at things and that may have sent me over the edge a little...
    Speaking of edges, I done an abseil today for Cystic Fibrosis... How nice am I! :D
    Everytime I click on Next Blog I get ones about trains, busses, train tracks or other forms of transport... maybe an idea for the eldest child?!

    SB xx

    P.S - My word is Matic! :D

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  8. 行動養成習慣,習慣培養人格,人格影響命運..................................................

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