Firstly there is a lock on the door so I can shut the toddler out and go about my business without him hanging on my leg sobbing. He may be on the other side of the door sobbing (and hammering) but at least I can't actually see him.
Secondly, it contains a heated-towel-rail, an item I have been hankering after ever since I achieved my previous 'great aim' of acquiring a giant pom pom (remind me to blog about the pom pom sometime). The heated-towel-rail is a sign that I have truly made it I feel.
Thirdly, it means that since moving house I've gone from having one toilet that doesn't really flush to having TWO toilets. That FLUSH. What with that and a heated-towel-rail I am clearly now moving on up.
Anyway, all this called for celebrating in the form of purchasing a new toilet brush and some towels that weren't actually the colour of 'ingrained dirt and possibly some mildew'. To guard against future discolourings, I went for brown.
So tonight (after a day which lets just say could have been better) I treated myself to a shower in my new shower room. I then plucked my new towels from my new heated-towel-rail (I'm just showing off now aren't I?) and gave myself a vigorous rub down.
I bent down to dry between my toes and...............
There were little brown things scattered around my 'feminine area' (I have to be careful what I say here, having once offended a man to the point of him writing in when I mentioned wee - but I'm hoping you know what I'm talking about? You know, the area previously denuded in the Curious Incident of the Chemical Burns which has now returned to full bloom).
Now my son did recently have a letter home about an outbreak of nits at his school but I had NO idea nits were that brown or that big and surely there wouldn't be that many so quickly and, besides anything else, what on earth where they were doing 'down there'? I thought nits down there were called.......
Oh my god. No. Surely not? How on earth?
My mind raced. Maybe it wasn't lice? Maybe it was some other kind of infestation? I mean stranger things have happened (to me). Maybe the toddler had poured coffee granules into the laundry basket or a family of immature woodlice had relocated to the knicker draw?
I steeled myself for a closer look.
I plucked one for a closer examination.
I lay it under one of the (new) spotlights........
It was a piece of a fluff from the new brown towel.
Ah well - at least I hadn't raced off down the doctors and asked for a full examination of my crabs......