This is not a funny post. This is just what has happened to me in the last 5 days and it explains why I haven't been around, and might not be around for a few more days. My mission to blog every day of September has had to take a bit of a back seat but hopefully I will start afresh next week.
This time last week I was sat here feeling pretty stressed. I had house/money/big stuff going on/coursework 'issues' and felt like August had just been one big slog with no holiday, no break and actually, I hadn't even got to celebrate my birthday with my husband (my birthday was on 11th August so that kind of sucks....). And then?
Then it went a bit like this:
5 days ago I was trying to finish an essay and my OH took the boys for a walk. Whilst on this walk he picked up The Toddler by his arms and The Toddler's arm promptly came apart...... Apparently this 'pulled elbow' lark is very common but it wasn't pleasant and we all had to hair it to down to A&E at the hospital which was previously the scene of me nearly dying and then, my incarceration in the Nut House. It was not a happy end to a Bank Holiday and there was a lot of crying and deep thinking to be had. The Toddler was fine though. He managed to put his own back in place by throwing a tantrum trying to get hold of a Thomas the Tank Engine Annual whilst he waited for the doctor. Kids!
4 days ago the same aforementioned Toddler, clearly not feeling 100% due to his gammy arm, decided to plunge head first down a flight of concrete steps and land on my patio face first. Of course he didn't put his arm out to save himself. So back I went to A&E.......(he must have REALLY wanted to see that Thomas Annual again). He had a bleeding nose, scrapped face and a the biggest egg-size bump on his forehead you have ever seen but thank god (a million times over) he was OK. I, however, was less so - although big shout out to my friend Kat who was here at the time and provided emergency childcare, reassurance and Iggle Piggle and comfort blanket delievery....... Every time I look at his face ('my brother with the bashed in face' as his older brother calls him) I feel a combination of a little bit sick and very very lucky.
3 days ago I started to feel really quite poorly, lost my voice, and found out my toilet would never work again and needs to be replaced.
2 days ago I felt even more poorly and very very tired (having been up most of the night for 2 nights with The Toddler with Britain's Biggest Headache) and my eldest son started school. I'm sure to be remembered as the mother at the school gates who was bent over the buggy wheezing and croaking and had a baby who was black and blue and covered in scabs........
And 1 day ago?
Well one day ago (apart from my tele going on the blink and deciding to show pictures only in an alarming hue of Magenta and Cyan and me being diagnosed with Pharingitis and told, utterly uselessly, to 'stay in bed for 7 days'.....) my beloved Grandma passed away. She went from being an amazingly active, youthful and strong women to catching flu which turned to pnuemonia, which wouldn't respond to antibiotics to losing her fight at around 10pm last night.
I think we all just feel such deep shock.
How can someone so vibrant, so filled with life and energy, who is is always having a 'hoot' or telling you to 'behave' (but with a sparkle in her eyes which tells you that she's rather glad you're not) just 'disappear'?
She never seemed very old (and for that I know we are very lucky). The last time I saw her she was berating one of daughters (in a light-hearted way) for shopping somewhere she only saw fit for 'those old folks' - old folks of which she was not one.
She is the grandparent that I have always taken after and aspired to be more like. From her sense of humour, to her style, to her wit, to her zest for life and sense of fun. She knew what mattered in life and she knew what didn't. She was one of the wisest people I ever knew but in a way which never dragged her down - she got the balance right. All in all she was my inspiration and I just wish, more than anything, we could have had a bit more time and that I could have got to say goodbye.
I love you Grandma and if I just hope I make you proud.