1. W drank an entire cup of 'Chemical Flower'. A 'Chemical Flower' is A's pride and joy which he creates each bathtime out of bathwater and shaving foam. He then places it, not to be touched by anybody, on the side of the bath. Well during a (very) rare moment of tidying the upstairs bedrooms W crawled off and the next thing I hear is a rapid slurping noise coming from the bathroom. One Chemical Flower. Gone. Down in One. WHY!? What is the attraction of Gillette and 24 hr old bathwater? I very much doubt it is the Best a Man can Get. I panicked (mildly) and contemplated ringing NHS Direct, but then came to my sense and realised that they'd just tell me to call an ambulance, so I googled 'child ingests shaving foam' and was satisfied that he would come to no harm. A did his best to calm the situation by assuring me that everything would be alright because he could just make another Chemical Flower. Argghh!
2. At bathtime I walked into my bedroom to find a light dusting of frost across pretty much all of it. Artifical frost that is. Artifical frost that took the form of £16 worth of Clinque Loose Powder. Luckily I was too tired to even shout.
3. I then came downstairs and poured myself a glass of red wine. The only glass of red wine. I then fell over backwards as I attempted to sit on the sofa and threw said glass of wine across myself and my best cream cushion. I once again turned to google (what did people actually do about minor crisis before the internet?) and discovered that I had 2 choices in removing the stain: white wine or milk. So milk it was. Which means I can't even have a cup of bloody tea because the sink is now filled with all my milk and a large cushion.
So I resorted to starting a Blog instead.....