Thursday, 18 December 2008

Shouting at Strangers

I'm not, by nature, a volatile woman. I don't generally throw things, or shout at my husband, or lock myself in the bathroom sobbing (although, I won't rule it out just yet) but, today, I was driven to screaming obscene words at a stranger in the street.

What drove me to this?

Well on the route I walk to get A from school I have to cross a very fast, very busy road. This road runs through the HQ of one of Britain's biggest employers and, therefore, a lot of people need to cross it everyday. A lot of people and me. So recently they put a pedestrian crossing on it to 'make it safer'. Now bearing in mind the volume of traffic and the volume of pedestrians I would have recommended one of those crossings with the beeping Green Man but it appears the Council knows better and instead we have one of those lame (significantly cheaper) jobs which is basically some stripes painted on the road. Stripes which no bugger ever notices.

Question: How effective is this as a means of crossing the road safely?
Answer: Not very.

So today I go to cross this road. I am not hard to miss. For a start I am pushing a damn huge pram.

What does some woman in a Micra do? Stare at me like I'm mad for standing in the middle of the road and just sails straight over the stripes and, almost, my pram.

Next thing I know I've lost all control of my senses and I'm screaming down the road 'WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?? THIS IS A F***ING LEVEL CROSSING'.

Only of course it isn't. It's a zebra crossing.

There were a lot of men in suits waiting on the otherside of the road. There were 'looks'.

I'm quite familiar with embarrassing myself in public but, all the same, I left the scene swiftly.

1 comment:

  1. Please don't stop. I haven't laughed so much since before I had children. If I'm going to read this I should probably do more pelvic floor exercises....
    (Ali B)