Wednesday, 15 September 2010

We are the Champions...

Well actually, no, I am the champion.


Yup - thanks to you lot I only went to actually won the 'Funniest Blog' section in the 2010 MADS Awards.

I honestly can't thank you enough - in this dessert of despair (and cat poo) it has brought me an immense amount of good cheer and happiness.

Sadly I couldn't even attend the awards ceremony so I didn't get to have fun, eat nice food, get wasted, do my speech and sob all over the red carpet but if I could have said something it would probably gone something like this....

'When I had my first baby my Aunt (who had 3) said 'whatever you do, keep your sense of humour, you're gonna need it!' and how right she was.

That baby is 6 today and I had NO idea just where that journey into being a mother would take me, but all things considered, so far so good. I'm still alive and I'm not currently sectioned so that's two good things.....

This is not just all about me though - there are many people who I have to thank. First and foremost, my husband, without whom I really don't think I'd be here (and if I was I'd still be in the nuthouse, trying to explain to psych nurses that owning rather too much grey knitwear is NOT a sign of mania and no, I don't want to play pingpong. Ever).

Then I'd like to thank my friends - who have been there through all the shit and held me together. I'm sure some of them can remember things I can't (and it's best I never do) about the baddest, maddest days - but I haven't scared them off for good yet....... Amongst those friends I'd like to thank the countless internet friends and blog readers who really do feel part of my life and have given me SO much encouragement and so many positive vibes over the years. Big love - seriously - you have made such a difference.

I'd also like to the thank the world I live in for being so bloody random - the badgers that died for me, the balls that burst for me, the "people that lie on mattresses and cry" therapy group who made me feel more normal, the cockerels that turned gay, the guinea pigs that died and left a legacy (especially Satchmo who went to space - apparently), the kids for being rather eccentric and my friends for knowing people with really bad tattoos and running kinky clothing shops. While I'm at it, I may as well thank the county of Somerset for being a brilliantly random place full of brilliantly random people and surely the most eclectic (i.e nuts) selection of adult education classes in the country?

I dedicate this award to my dad - he would have been so bloody proud, even though he'd be rather cross about my mocking of his knife obsession at a National Level and deriding of Osborne's Big Man's Catalouge.... My dad always wanted to write a book but he died before he got the chance to even retire. I took my story telling skills from him so maybe I will finally get my arse in gear, take up his mantle, and do it..... Thank you and good bye. Until tomorrow....'.

See - good job I wasn't at the ceremony - everyone would have been asleep by the end of that!

I don't know what I'll spend my vouchers on - I always said bedroom curtains but that is TOO dull. I still don't have any bedroom curtains but I have fixed a fleece blanket over the window and that will do. It's Autumn now and dark outside anyway..... I want to get something I will keep forever and will help me remember that I held it together this year, despite everything, and still managed to make people laugh.

I just did a very brave thing and told my mum about this blog. It's always been a total secret (apart from anything - does my mum REALLY need to read about the incident of the pubic hair and the chemical burns?). I was worried what she'd say but she actually cried and said she was so proud (hell, she didn't even say that when I got my degree, or got married or had a baby!) and dad would have been even happier (not that she's actually read it yet) and that they should do a book and a documentary (at this point you need to bear in mind she was rather drunk and gushing somewhat, inbetween crying at some strangers getting married on BBC3 - it's a cultural whirlwind here).

Anyway - cheers folks - chin chin and here's to the next year of (almost) sanity.


  1. WOW congratulations..I am so thrilled for you, your award is utterly well deserved! I work for Waitrose (part of the John Lewis mob) and you will have such fun spending your vouchers, they have such lovely things! Telling your Mum about your blog...good luck with the fallout lol! I suggest she has plenty of alcohol before plunging in! Welldone girl!!!!! Sue x

  2. WTG girl! You so deserve this award.
    Don't get curtains (boring) find something truly unique ane wonderful (or weird) .
    Sue xx
    p.s. good luck with your Mum reading the blog - I'm sure she'll have a good laugh. Us Mums surprise people (as you well know!).

  3. Well done, it was a great event, shame you wernt there

  4. Congratz!!!!! you deserve it, I look forward to another year filled with badger expeditions


  5. Very well done - truly deserved. And we can't wait for the book to come out!!!!

  6. Totally deserved. I cried at your acceptance speech so clearly you are magical....

    Can we have the update after you mum actually 'reads' it????!!!

  7. Definitely well deserved, fantastic speech!!

    Maybe you Mum was too drunk to remember?! If not I'm sure she'll love it.

  8. Congratulations and so well deserved, I am still clapping after your speech and trying to dry my tears !!! lol
    Buy something wild!
    Tilly x

  9. yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    good on ya gal, bloody well bloody deserved, us blog readers adore you xxx

  10. you have made me laugh in my darkest moments. I have no momentous comments to make but, you have made find the meaning of life and I thank you

  11. Well done and congrats! I call into your blog often and love your style!

  12. But I've been worrying at night about you not having any curtains! Are you sure the people across the road are not blogging about you?

    Ah well.

    Something sexy then. And keep the bloody cats off it.

  13. Congratulations! You really do deserve this award! Thanks from one of Somerset's nutters!

  14. Excellent - how was this announced? I didn't hear anything - If I'd known you were winning I'd have baked a cake - or something. So proud of you, along with your Mum and Dad - you must be keeping SO many heads smiling and above water, you totally deserve this accolade, I am thrilled - and proud to have been amongst your galleon of voters - well done - chin chin! (oh God look now I'm off...)

  15. Huge congratulations. It was a shame you couldn't be at the event - I would have presented you with the award! But I'm sure our paths will cross another time. Enjoy those vouchers!

  16. Well done, I had a feeling you'd win - it is a truly excellent and funny blog.