Wednesday, 3 February 2010

Wrong Footed (the continuation)

Following yesterday's post about collecting my child from school whilst wearing a multitude of badly fitting footwear a friend, who recalls the real-life me from my son's ex-school, said that she wasn't surprised and she could only believe it coming from me.

This prompts me to ponder, do other people NEVER find themselves out with only one shoe on?

Seriously - I need to know.

You see this latest debacle is only the latest in a long history of shoe-shockers. Off the top of my head others have included:

1. Waking up at party when I was 16 (and had learned the hard way that Bacardi is of a slightly higher proof than Strongbow, if you drink it neat that is) to find that one of my Dr Martens was missing (this was in the era when DMs and stripy tights were considered 'current'. Or maybe that was just in Somerset?). I ended up going to college wearing an old man's slip on loafer (complete with tassles). I can still remember my Geography teacher's concern and questioning about the ability of my parents to raise me. That was the last time my parents ever got to hear about parent's evening.....

2. Walking across an air-field at 8.5 months pregnant only for one of my mules to snap. The only other footwear I had available was a pair of zip up leather boots with a 5 inch stiletto heel and very pointy toes which were in the boot of the car (like some kind of memento from the days I 'had a life'). I couldn't actually zip them over my balloon-like pregnant ankles and I must have looked a more than interesting sight as I tottered about in them for the rest of the (boiling hot) day with a pair of open boots flapping round my calves and a enormous stomach jiggling about. Foxy....

3. The day I went to the seaside and walked all the way out to the sea (anyone who knows the Bristol Channel will understand that this was not a short walk - more like a Half Marathon) only for my sandal to disintegrate. If I close my eyes now and think about the sea I can still recall the pain of broken limpet shells piercing my skin.

4. The day I took my son swimming and, half way there, my slip on mule flew off and landed in the middle of the road. I ended up retrieving it and having to queue up at Tesco customer services before asking them to staple it back together so I could go swimming..... They did do it but only because I think they feared for their lives.

and finally.....

5. The day my flip flop snapped whilst walking to my son's first ever parent's evening. There's not a lot you can do about a snapped flip flop. Every time you raise your foot it just stays on the pavement. And this is how I ended up sat in front of his teacher, on one of those tiny little nursery chairs, smiling sweetly and praying she didn't ask why I was wearing my best frock and only wearing one shoe.......

Do I just buy immensely crap shoes? Or is does this have a deeper meaning?



  1. Blame the shoes! Seriously, way too many have disintegrated on your feet to be considered "well executed".

    Unfortunatelly I can't report any such problems myself, but I do have several (elderly) relatives who managed to go out in slippers (to the end of the street, then realizing something was amiss), going to town with a black and a brown shoe on, or going to the opera in two different (well, both were black) shoes. But that could be attributed to bad eyesight, not the shoes' fault.

  2. Lol I love your blog!!!

    Years ago we went for a walk on the new estate where we lived. The builders were still putting up houses so everywhere was nice and muddy. We had wellies on and decided to jump over a ditch to continue our walk. When we tried to jump back over the ditch, we got stuck in the mud and as fast as we pushed it away, the faster it filled up again. I had visions of us being stuck there for life! lol Eventually managed to get me out but hubby couldn't lift one of his wellies out and ended up having it leave it in the mud and walk home with 1 welly on and in his sock in the other. Good job we didn't see too many people but his foot was sore when he finally got home.

  3. Again, I am laughing lots *cue lots of weird looks from my o/h across the room...*

    I have had 2 similar incidents... One when I was in my twenties and walking down a flight of stairs leading out of a nightclub and my heel snapped off and I went from the top to the bottom on MY bottom. Cue one broken coccyx and getting home one shoe in hand. The other time was running with my son trying to catch a train and my flip flop snapped and we BOTH went flying... ouch ouch.

  4. 一個人的際遇在第一次總是最深刻的,有時候甚至會讓人的心變成永遠的絕緣。.........................

  5. Hmm, I think maybe you might want to give mules and flipflops a miss!! The nearest i've come is twice (I think) I've had one strap 'go' on a pair of strappy sandals and had to spent the rest of the walk/day doing a kind of hop/drag number to keep the sandal on my foot. But then I never wear mules (they just fall off!) or flipflops (rub between the toes) so I think the choice of shoe does seem to have an influence (and my summer penchant for strappy sandals is my weak link on this subject!)

  6. I have had only one shoe incident memory. Tthe day started with me waking up late for work and ended up dressing as if it was the height of summer (strappy top, cardi, summer skirt, fancy sandals) which it wasnt - it truly was wetting it down, I had no choice but to run out the door with what I was wearing...
    Somehow I managed not to freeze my ass off in the office, but when I dashed down the high street to grab a bite to eat, my right sandal somehow shimmied off my foot and float its way down a huge puddle/river into the middle of the road - as soon as there was a gap in the traffic, I had to wade in and rescue it. Not a good look!

    I now take more time considering my footwear!

  7. LOL - these are great but I'm particularly loving the welly in the ditch....Glad to know I'm not alone, if perhaps slightly more prolific!